GTAV Stores Ranked

So aside from walking, podcasting, and eating, I’ve spent a lot of time during the shut down playing Video Games. It’s funny, I had played a collective 10 or so hours the previous 5 months and suddenly I have played just… a lot more than that in the past two months. Right now I’m playing GTAV. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s basically a crime simulator. You play as a trio of career criminals that specialize in heists. You rob a jewelry store, an army base, the federal reserve stand in. You have various strange diversions along the way, like yoga, spiritual enlightenment, and solving decades old murder. You can also go shopping. There’s Five main shopping outlets in the game. Since this is a retail pop culture blog let’s rank those Stores shall we? From worst to best.

5. Discount Store

Look I don’t make the rules here, I mean I do so, this store is the cheapest store where you can buy ill fitting suits worn out tees, dirty polos. You’re not getting any value out of this store. This store is so terrible they didn’t even give it a name just “Discount Store”. Now Macklemore might get some value out of this store but not you or I. I will note that this store, located in the desert is the ideal place for Villain/Protagonist Trevor Phillips to get a nice suit to meet his Chinese contact to set up a meth business. After all, if we learned nothing else from Breaking Bad, meth is a serious business. Also you look mighty fine blowing up a rival meth lab in that suit.

4. Binco

I’m not sure what to say here. This place has the same inventory as the Discount Store, but it gets a name and has appeared in multiple games in the franchise so it wins… fourth place arguably a tie but ok.

3. Ponsonbys

This is your highest end store as far as clothing goes, it’s got well tailored suits, friendly staff, and plays a minor role in the story. While each character has a myriad of choices at this store the main thing holding this store truly back is a lack of pants. You can buy full suits that include pants you can buy shirts, jackets, vests, and so much more. But not pants. What’s with the no pants party? The story sends you to the store to buy yourself a tux, a well fitting perfectly tailored (off the rack mind you) tux. Why my tux required multiple fittings and tailoring, but Ponsonbys makes it happen instantly. Yes, Ponsonbys is truly a store of Luxury.

2. SubUrban

Now Suburban clearly playing off Urban Outfitters, is a trendier younger store. Catering to young millennials and Gen Zers. You’ve got Cargo shorts, vests over tee shirts, pants Yay pants. But it’s the staff that really puts them above Ponsonbys. In order to have Michael infiltrate LifeInvader(Facebook/Google) you go to buy trendier clothes. The clerk empathizes with your plight having to impress a younger generation, helping you choose an appropriate outfit directing you to the aforementioned Cargo Short teeshirt vest ensemble. What puts this clerk ahead of the pack though is should you return as Michael the Clerk will ask how your interview went. Remembering you, and an important detail you shared is a well known and effective sales technique. It’s easy to see Suburban values their customers’ experiences and trains their staff well. Although later returns are less exciting with an acknowledgement you’re not quite the right demographic for the store. We could also discuss possibly illegal hiring practices of not hiring anyone over 25 or overweight, as revealed through conversation with the clerks. Oh well moving on…

Before getting to number one let’s present some honorable mentions

Perseus: Upscale clothing store in GTAIV exists in GTAV but only as a store front no interactivity.

Vangelico: Incredibly high end Jewelry Company with tenacious sales staff. Is the first Heist in GTAV unless you count the prologue.

Now on to Number One.

1.Ammu Nation

What else could it be? Ammu Nation has been a part of the franchise since the beginning. It’s where you buy pretty much all your weaponry in the games with the exception of GTAIV. This store is so important there’s an entire wiki article with information on the company’s history. The store opened in 1963 and through in game dialogue you can learn the chain buys out independent gun shops and rebrands them to Ammu Nation. The commercials for the ingame chain tend to run on paranoia. With Vice City(set in the 80s) serving up Cold War phrases such as “Leading the war on Communism.” .

But aside from the almost inseparable nature of the stores from GTA, we need to talk about as a retail outlet. Some Ammu Nations feature gun ranges which can be used to safely and legally increase your skills with the various weapons the game employs. We can also purchase various body armors and weapons spanning so many genres from knives to rocket launchers. Modification is nearly limitless with gun reskins, suppressors, flashlights, extended clips, and more. Clothing is available, accessories such as sun glasses. The stock any given store has on hand makes them an excellent retailer with staff which is knowledgeable about that stock.

I would also be remiss to not include the fact that as evidenced in “Chinatown Wars” a Gameboy edition of GTA, Ammu Nation has a robust online sales and delivery system set in 2009, which puts them ahead of many retailers who even today struggle to build a competent online presence.

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I would say all in all, it’s interesting to consider for obvious reasons the stores available pertain to character cosmetic modification, clothing, tattoo parlors, and barbers. Then of course weapons outlets, Ammu Nation being the largest but not only with Phil’s in GTAIII. Or the back room gun shops of GTAIV. What I hadn’t considered until building this list with a specific eye on the retail experiences of each outlet was how in depth each experience could be. Rockstar Games has always crafted their worlds with great care and it’s hardly a surprise even something as minor as shopping is given the same weight as and car theft. Now if y’all excuse me I’m going to go play golf. Because they made that good too.